Your kid shows you a drawing that looks like a potato with googly eyes. You… *

Is this… modern art?” (You squint while texting your boss)

Wow! Let’s frame this masterpiece!” (You hang it on the fridge)

Cool. Hey, want a $20?” (You slip them cash to go away)

Uh… thanks?” (You’re already scrolling TikTok)

It’s bedtime, and your kid hits you with the classic: “I’m thirsty.” You… *

Nice try. Lights out, soldier.” (You’re immune to their tricks)

Water, then bed—but I’ll check on you in 10.” (You compromise)

Here’s my phone—watch YouTube until you pass out.” (Parenting hack!)

Fine, but hurry—I need to finish this email.” (You multitask their sippy cup refill)

Your kid asks, “Do you even LIKE me?” Your internal panic response is… *

Wait… do I?!” (You’re suddenly questioning your life choices)

Of course! Now go ask Mom.” (You throw cash at the problem)

Yes! But… am I showing it?” (Cue existential dread)

Let’s talk about this—how can I do better?” (You’re ready for therapy)

It’s Saturday morning. Your parenting vibe is… *

Sleep? What’s that? I’ve been up since 5 AM for work.

I’m ‘present’… if you count watching them play while I doomscroll.

I booked a ‘dad & me’ pottery class! (We’ll leave halfway through.)

Saturday? Isn’t that when my golf buddies… oh right, I have kids.

Your kid says, “Dad, play with me!” But you’re busy. You… *

Not now—here, buy something on Fortnite.

Sure! (You ‘play’ while sneakily checking LinkedIn.)

After this meeting… (spoiler: there’s always another meeting).

Set a timer for 10 minutes and actually get on the floor.

Your kid’s school play starts in 10 minutes. You… *

What’s a school play? I’m a mystery parent.

I’ll be there! (You arrive late and film the whole thing… from your phone.)

Send a giant ‘Good Job!’ Edible Arrangement instead.

Cancel my 2 PM meeting. This is non-negotiable.

Your partner says, “You need to bond more with the kids.” You… *

Bonding? I pay the WiFi bill—that’s bonding!

You’re right. I’ll plan something! (Adds it to the never-ending to-do list.)

Who has time? I’m busy keeping this roof over our heads!

Let’s brainstorm 3 tiny ways I can start tonight.

Finish the sentence: “One day, my kid will remember me as…" *

…the guy who funded their Roblox addiction.

…a blurry figure in the background of their childhood.

…the dad who tried his best (but was always distracted).

…someone who showed up, even when it was hard.

Full Name *

Email *

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Your kid shows you a drawing that looks like a potato with googly eyes. You… *

Is this… modern art?” (You squint while texting your boss)

Wow! Let’s frame this masterpiece!” (You hang it on the fridge)

Cool. Hey, want a $20?” (You slip them cash to go away)

Uh… thanks?” (You’re already scrolling TikTok)

It’s bedtime, and your kid hits you with the classic: “I’m thirsty.” You… *

Nice try. Lights out, soldier.” (You’re immune to their tricks)

Water, then bed—but I’ll check on you in 10.” (You compromise)

Here’s my phone—watch YouTube until you pass out.” (Parenting hack!)

Fine, but hurry—I need to finish this email.” (You multitask their sippy cup refill)

Your kid asks, “Do you even LIKE me?” Your internal panic response is… *

Wait… do I?!” (You’re suddenly questioning your life choices)

Of course! Now go ask Mom.” (You throw cash at the problem)

Yes! But… am I showing it?” (Cue existential dread)

Let’s talk about this—how can I do better?” (You’re ready for therapy)

It’s Saturday morning. Your parenting vibe is… *

Sleep? What’s that? I’ve been up since 5 AM for work.

I’m ‘present’… if you count watching them play while I doomscroll.

I booked a ‘dad & me’ pottery class! (We’ll leave halfway through.)

Saturday? Isn’t that when my golf buddies… oh right, I have kids.

Your kid says, “Dad, play with me!” But you’re busy. You… *

Not now—here, buy something on Fortnite.

Sure! (You ‘play’ while sneakily checking LinkedIn.)

After this meeting… (spoiler: there’s always another meeting).

Set a timer for 10 minutes and actually get on the floor.

Your kid’s school play starts in 10 minutes. You… *

What’s a school play? I’m a mystery parent.

I’ll be there! (You arrive late and film the whole thing… from your phone.)

Send a giant ‘Good Job!’ Edible Arrangement instead.

Cancel my 2 PM meeting. This is non-negotiable.

Your partner says, “You need to bond more with the kids.” You… *

Bonding? I pay the WiFi bill—that’s bonding!

You’re right. I’ll plan something! (Adds it to the never-ending to-do list.)

Who has time? I’m busy keeping this roof over our heads!

Let’s brainstorm 3 tiny ways I can start tonight.

Finish the sentence: “One day, my kid will remember me as…" *

…the guy who funded their Roblox addiction.

…a blurry figure in the background of their childhood.

…the dad who tried his best (but was always distracted).

…someone who showed up, even when it was hard.

Full Name *

Email *

0%

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